18 May 2005

Paris is as Paris does

Why I date Gary (among other reasons)

Me (in email to him)
While editing this Paris Hilton picture for LF I ended up with two choices.. #1 and #2. I'm sending you both of them. You can bet which one made it on LF and which one didnt.

Him
The second one looks like the real you. The first one needs a real dog.

Me
They are both the real me silly. It's my face photoshopped into the picture

Him
No, I mean the one with the drink looked like the real you body and all.



Now I'm not one to argue. If this is what he sees... I think I'll keep him! :)


17 May 2005

This day is king, tomorrow... it's kingdom

When I think of the world today I am reminded of the quote, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." As I dont give modern man much credit for using his mind, I have to wonder how anyone is ever happy at all? Meet the cynic in me.

Through the lense of my mind's eye I view most people's lives as bold charades. Shakespeare said it best, "Strutting and fretting his hour upon the stage." Marked by self-perpetuated drama, they don thin veils of pseudo-reality and parade about proudly. More than just emperors with new clothes they build kingdoms and castles and seem content to rot within ... never to venture beyond the walls.

Doing what's right and reaching the pinnacle of your personal best is out. In modern life all things are measured by Oprah, Martha, Paris, and the presidence of case-law. It's the delusion, the smoke and mirrors, the vehicle of validation that make our little kingdoms ok to believe in.

But what good is community service without a deep belief in community? When does community service really become just lip-service: The hollow gong of shoulds, guilt, and group conformity that are the new standard by which measure ourselves. Ask not what you can do for your country but rather what your country has done for you lately. Morality and personal integriy have been replaced by the idea that if nobody knows, nobody cares, and no tree ever falls in our own woods unless it is observed and denounced by the rest of mankind.

But if I fail to believe in their reality, what do I see as my own? I see today as king and tomorrow its kingdom... every allegence and honor should be given to today. Today has an obligation to plan well and ensure prosperity for the kingdom of tomorrow.

Is it better or is it still a stubborn justification that let's me sleep at night? Am I cliniging to my own perception of reality like a cliff lest I fall from the heights and impale myself on someone elses dream?

Wondrous Universe

In our mediocrity and distraction we forget that we are privileged to live in a wondrous universe
~John O'Donohue

Build a date at Fred Meyer

Tonight I accompanied Gary on a big outing to Fred Meyer. He was engaged in the search for the perfect bag of chips and dip to satisfy his hunger. While in the refridgerated section I happened upon a bag of sour kraut. It seemed so unusual... a bag rather than in a jar... I was captivated and reached up to where it sat on the shelf to give it a little squeeze. With surprise I remarked that it felt almost exactly like a breast! Of course I made Gary feel it (politely) and asked him quite scientific if that's what an implant feels like. Then came the worst, though, when I blurted out, "All a guy needs is a hot water bottle and a bag of sour kraut, and a man would never have to date again! Once you go Kraut you never go out!" He then proceeded to calmly pick out some clam dip, which didnt help the situation at all. It occurred to me as he did so (And of course I said it outloud ... again...) "A man could put together a completely anatomically correct woman in the aisle of Fred Meyer!"

I admit it was inappropriate, improper, and THANK GOODNESS I had the good sense to blush but dont worry .. I've not going completely repentant and clean .. because then I laughed and was quite pleased with myself. Gary just shook his head and smiled. Hey, I'm telling you that saurkraut thing felt like a Pamela Anderson doll.


Somewhere, out there, my Mom is so proud of me right now.

Siskiyou Telephone

Back home in The Valley we did not have a regular telephone company like AT&T or Pac Bell, etc. We had a small home town phone company that was rumored to have been there since phones existed. The company was (and still is) called Siskiyou Telephone.You may wonder how a small town tel-com business can survive in such a competitive market. To be fair, I guess a larger Tel-com business could have come in as competition but Siskiyou Telephone owned all the lines and telephone infrastructure but because it was such a small remote area it wasn't worth the money to come in and install the thousands of miles of telephone cable, etc. to overtake the market. The result is Siskiyou Telephone is alive and well today even in this world high flying digital everything.

Now as not is uncommon Siskiyou Telephone had a number that you could call to get the official Scott Valley time. Scott Valley is technically in the Pacific Time Zone but I assure you, Valley Time is entirely different. I used to like to call Time when I got lonely. They had a nice old gentleman with a deep voice recorded on the phone message. He used to say, "At Siskiyou Telephone we have your needs in mind. The time is....12:24" or whatever the time was at that moment. I can tell you when I was scared, or lonely, or looking to what the future might bring it was such a comfort to call Time and hear him croon to me that he had my needs in mind.

I have often wondered about the man on the other end of the Time phone line (Timeline?) Who he was, what he did, and if anyone cared as much for him as he did for me. I would hope on holidays that someone was keeping his needs in mind and making sure he had warm slippers and a pipe. I daydreamed he had a lazy dog with brown eye and one blue eye and a wife who baked him cookies even though his doctor told him his cholesterol was too high. I used to imagine him snoozing in his chair with the his head on his chest and his paper open flat in his lap. Little things that make growing old easier on a man.


Anyway, the man on the Time Line taught me a valuable lesson. You see, I have never forgotten the comfort he brought by being there every time I would call. Always the same each and every day... just two rings and then his solid voice, "At Siskiyou Telephone...." (Would it be a pun to say the guy on the timeline was always there like .... clockwork?!) I came to know what a comfort we can be to others by simply being there for them whenever they call. I have also learned the joy and satisfaction that comes with being the Time keeper. Even when I am in my greatest need it helps me to feel better to be the guy on the time line ... to speak to them with my kind and steady voice and reassure them that I their needs in mind, that I've got their back, and I'm not going anywhere. Minute by minute, hour by hour we will make it through.

We all have days when we wish we could pick up the phone and call home to the Valley to see what time it is. In those moments doing a kind deed for someone can often make the difference for others and also ourselves.

transfered from an old blog and edited 05/16/05