I think I am going to try and make some tamales this week. I like the idea of Christmas and New Year's Tamales. It's like a food love story and this is just the beginning of our romance. Each one I open is like a little present for me. And I do love my presents for me!
I've always had this "thing" for tamales. I don't know where it came from. I didn't grow up eating tamales ...well.. I do remember some of the canned ones and being pretty excited about the whole thing .. but once you eat a good tamale you just KNOW it's right. You were always meant to be together and every day leading up to this one was just putting you on the path to meeting and running away together. I have often pondered making some homemade tamales (and homemade tortilla's but that's another story). "They are a lot of work!" friends advised me. But still the idea persisted ... I don't know, maybe I'm just a sucker for a good cause. And soft, steaming, corn bready wrapper wrapped around hot spicy shredded meat is a really ... REALLY good cause! Tasty good. Then tonight I'm reading my new magazine and I see an ad for a store called "Hot Damn Tamales". They ship all kinds of gourmet tamales including three cheese, spinach feta & olive, Ancho pork loin, pablano chicken, and Beef tenderloin beer & jalapeno. And I thought to myself, "This is silly. I can totally make these!"
And so I will.
Maybe I fell off the tamale cart and hit my head .. but maybe, just maybe, I'm a budding genius!
19 December 2010
10 November 2009
Liberty Rising and Barbarian Frolic
I know I said I was buys with NaNoWriMo and so, of course, that makes me more productive on everything else but what I set out to do. The good thing is I have a few new updates for my blog. The first of which is another Barbarian poem. It's sort of a jest of the first for reasons I dont need to go into when I know you trust me so much. It just is.
After writing a second poem about barbarians, I joke that I need to produce a coffee table book filled with poems that echo the sound of a marching drum. Who knows what things may come?!! I will tell you this, these are the first poems I have ever written in a series with a common theme. So .. I guess you could call this "growth" ... or can you?
My thoughts on Liberty and the direction of this country are still formulating. But now I give you the newest barbarian poem, which is probably much lighter and more entertaining.
Barbarians: Grace and Beauty and Light
2009
Everyone loves a barbarian
Those quirky malcontent folk
They frolic and slay
All through the day
Never toiling beneath a yoke
Free and wild to plunder
Broad backs to the wild wild wind
They chortle and hack
‘till red blood dries black
Never dwelling ‘pon whether they’ve sinned
Friend to flies and buzzards
They’re fuzzy and wuzzy in furs
The hair down their back
Though greasy and slack
'Tis mane would make lion pur
Even swarthy and cursing like devils
They are grace and beauty and light
With teeth like a grave
In need of a shave
Live each day for the love of the fight
And as the Barbarians like to say …
To raise a child they say
It takes an entire village
Rome ‘twernt built in a day
But you could wipe it away
With a torch and one good pillage!
Or, it takes a barbarian to raze a village.
After writing a second poem about barbarians, I joke that I need to produce a coffee table book filled with poems that echo the sound of a marching drum. Who knows what things may come?!! I will tell you this, these are the first poems I have ever written in a series with a common theme. So .. I guess you could call this "growth" ... or can you?
My thoughts on Liberty and the direction of this country are still formulating. But now I give you the newest barbarian poem, which is probably much lighter and more entertaining.
Barbarians: Grace and Beauty and Light
2009
Everyone loves a barbarian
Those quirky malcontent folk
They frolic and slay
All through the day
Never toiling beneath a yoke
Free and wild to plunder
Broad backs to the wild wild wind
They chortle and hack
‘till red blood dries black
Never dwelling ‘pon whether they’ve sinned
Friend to flies and buzzards
They’re fuzzy and wuzzy in furs
The hair down their back
Though greasy and slack
'Tis mane would make lion pur
Even swarthy and cursing like devils
They are grace and beauty and light
With teeth like a grave
In need of a shave
Live each day for the love of the fight
And as the Barbarians like to say …
To raise a child they say
It takes an entire village
Rome ‘twernt built in a day
But you could wipe it away
With a torch and one good pillage!
Or, it takes a barbarian to raze a village.
29 October 2009
Letters of Note
Recently, I have been captivated by reading the new daily submissions on the blog Letters of Note. The author of the blog posts copies of actual letters from important people, places, and events .. and some not so important. Though not all are funny, they are all amusing in their own way. I find it as captivating as a steaming pile of mashed potatoes and I really like mashed potatoes. In fact, I may have some right now!
Peruse it. Only a little time? The most popular are listed on the right.
photo hotlinked from Letters of Note
Peruse it. Only a little time? The most popular are listed on the right.
photo hotlinked from Letters of Note
22 October 2009
Board Games Bored Games
After all these years I’m finally ready to admit I was never able to play nearly enough board games as a child. I was deeply warped by this omission. I spent many the long hour thumbing through the Sears and JC Penney Christmas catalog (sometimes until June and July) trying to decide exactly which board game I wanted. I so longed to play these games I imagined just how I would play it, who I would play it with, and how much fun we would have. I know, I know, twisted, right? Well, the truth is never pretty. Years later I would try to convince my friends that these board games were fun. Ears, ears everywhere and all of them deaf, but I get ahead of myself.
Sure, there were the inevitable games of Monopoly but at 12 years of age I had the business acumen of a 5 year old. By 15 I had barely progressed to age 7. It was tortuous. My only salvation came in losing myself in daydreams about my tiny Lone Ranger game piece. Stuck forever in perpetual rear, Trigger pawing the air with his little tin hooves unto eternity. I dreamed about the day when we could both break out and gallop across the vast board game plains of our dreams. Then, as now, Monopoly (in all its varied iterations) is simply a humiliating exercise in working for others. Egregiously taxed into submission we finally overextend ourselves financially resulting in disastrous ruin and poverty. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200. Uplifting, isn’t it?
The game Risk was even more humiliating. For those of us who had difficulty with the simple task of building vast hotel chain empires or forming complex energy trusts you can just imagine our angst at trying to plan a land war in Asia! I know, I know, never start a land war in Asia, a classic blunder!*
What I always wanted to play .. what tugged at my heart so badly .. were the word games. Scrabble. Yahtzee. Upwords. Scattergories. Taboo. Balderdash. Oh Balderdash! The only board game to ever successfully pair my two loves: The written word and creative writing. For the unwashed, those two things are NOT the same. Just try reading Dostoevsky and you will understand what I'm talking about.
For those who don’t know, the object of Balderdash is to either 1. Guess the correct definition of an obscure word from amongst the various player submitted definitions or 2. Make up a definition that is so stinking good someone guesses it. Good heavens but I was GOOD. But, as usual, my love was too slow, too obscure, to BORING (as if!) to be much of an enticement for others to play. I was the British Humor at the table with Larry, Curly, Moe, and Donald Trump. And me without my toupe! Why I aughta .... !
I must now interject an honest accounting of the brief period when my sister indulged me in more than her share of hours playing CLUE. I will grant some small satisfaction gained from the battleship-like guess and check board game. With its quirky characters and candlestick murders it did appeal to my imagination. But, alas, it wasn’t enough to satisfy the longing deep in my heart.
The closest I came to attaining board game nirvana was sometime in college when some friends and I invented the mother of all board games: Beer Board. Not being exceedingly literary in nature (the board required little alliteration, rhyming, or onomatopoeia) I still retain more than a small suspicion that the nirvana may have had a good deal to do with the beer part of the board.
As drinking games go, Beer Board had it all, and I'm not just bragging. Loosely based on the game Shoots and Ladders, players would roll the dice, rapidly advancing through a plethora of drinking game options. And it was all neatly wrapped up in one flashily painted plywood board game! Imagine for a moment a fast paced ever-changing world where players might find themselves playing rounds of Thumper one roll, and then singing the Hee Haw song with three friends the next. There were rounds of Mexicali, Rub butts with a friend, Roll-drink-and-dance, “I Never”, Indian Poker, and more! All was to be had. There was never a dull moment in our little Narnia-come-Natural Light world.
Side B of the board, yes there was a rare side B, was somewhat less involved. It was a spinner game. Players would spin the tin spinner (the original cut from an authentic Keystone Light can and affixed with a push pin) and then all playing would follow the instructions. Everyone with blue eyes drink. All football players drink. You get the idea. Intoxicating, isn’t it?!
Sadly, Beer Board was never picked up by any of the major retailers. Through applied research and practice we were able to finally make some small refinements to our product. Taking a lead from Monopoly we created several theme versions such as “Old Mexico” (Cinco de Mayo edition) on a paper grocery sack cut open to lay flat in one giant beer board rectangle. The squares were drawn on with Sharpie pen, which never ran even if wet. You could roll them up like a lost treasure map and if you lost one you weren’t out much. Still there was no interest from Milton Bradley or Hasbro. Even in this, our greatest triumph, there was no satisfaction.
The years have gone by and even now I confess I get a little bit nostalgic for the raucous games I saw in all the commercials during those cartoon mornings so long ago (admittedly somewhat less nostalgic for BB). I sometimes press my nose against the window pane of memory and imagine what could have been if only life mirrored art. I still harbor a hope that someday I will sit down with a group of people I love and we will all engage in a mighty merry word game. It will be like a warm Thanksgiving celebration or victorious Super Bowl Party. Is it really too much to ask? Words live such a quiet life, it seems. Perhaps someday I will find that mythical place, the place they show in the TV commercials where people roll the dice and then bounce on the sofa excitedly, clasped fists raised in air. Where friends high five, and mothers and fathers look on shaking their head in a sort of loving gentle reproof at some antic. I hope so. And so does my wee tin friend, the Lone Ranger. Liberated by laughter and a shared game of endless linguistic possibilities.
Ride long tonight through golden board game fields of our dreams my friend. Be well.
Sure, there were the inevitable games of Monopoly but at 12 years of age I had the business acumen of a 5 year old. By 15 I had barely progressed to age 7. It was tortuous. My only salvation came in losing myself in daydreams about my tiny Lone Ranger game piece. Stuck forever in perpetual rear, Trigger pawing the air with his little tin hooves unto eternity. I dreamed about the day when we could both break out and gallop across the vast board game plains of our dreams. Then, as now, Monopoly (in all its varied iterations) is simply a humiliating exercise in working for others. Egregiously taxed into submission we finally overextend ourselves financially resulting in disastrous ruin and poverty. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200. Uplifting, isn’t it?
The game Risk was even more humiliating. For those of us who had difficulty with the simple task of building vast hotel chain empires or forming complex energy trusts you can just imagine our angst at trying to plan a land war in Asia! I know, I know, never start a land war in Asia, a classic blunder!*
What I always wanted to play .. what tugged at my heart so badly .. were the word games. Scrabble. Yahtzee. Upwords. Scattergories. Taboo. Balderdash. Oh Balderdash! The only board game to ever successfully pair my two loves: The written word and creative writing. For the unwashed, those two things are NOT the same. Just try reading Dostoevsky and you will understand what I'm talking about.
For those who don’t know, the object of Balderdash is to either 1. Guess the correct definition of an obscure word from amongst the various player submitted definitions or 2. Make up a definition that is so stinking good someone guesses it. Good heavens but I was GOOD. But, as usual, my love was too slow, too obscure, to BORING (as if!) to be much of an enticement for others to play. I was the British Humor at the table with Larry, Curly, Moe, and Donald Trump. And me without my toupe! Why I aughta .... !
I must now interject an honest accounting of the brief period when my sister indulged me in more than her share of hours playing CLUE. I will grant some small satisfaction gained from the battleship-like guess and check board game. With its quirky characters and candlestick murders it did appeal to my imagination. But, alas, it wasn’t enough to satisfy the longing deep in my heart.
The closest I came to attaining board game nirvana was sometime in college when some friends and I invented the mother of all board games: Beer Board. Not being exceedingly literary in nature (the board required little alliteration, rhyming, or onomatopoeia) I still retain more than a small suspicion that the nirvana may have had a good deal to do with the beer part of the board.
As drinking games go, Beer Board had it all, and I'm not just bragging. Loosely based on the game Shoots and Ladders, players would roll the dice, rapidly advancing through a plethora of drinking game options. And it was all neatly wrapped up in one flashily painted plywood board game! Imagine for a moment a fast paced ever-changing world where players might find themselves playing rounds of Thumper one roll, and then singing the Hee Haw song with three friends the next. There were rounds of Mexicali, Rub butts with a friend, Roll-drink-and-dance, “I Never”, Indian Poker, and more! All was to be had. There was never a dull moment in our little Narnia-come-Natural Light world.
Side B of the board, yes there was a rare side B, was somewhat less involved. It was a spinner game. Players would spin the tin spinner (the original cut from an authentic Keystone Light can and affixed with a push pin) and then all playing would follow the instructions. Everyone with blue eyes drink. All football players drink. You get the idea. Intoxicating, isn’t it?!
Sadly, Beer Board was never picked up by any of the major retailers. Through applied research and practice we were able to finally make some small refinements to our product. Taking a lead from Monopoly we created several theme versions such as “Old Mexico” (Cinco de Mayo edition) on a paper grocery sack cut open to lay flat in one giant beer board rectangle. The squares were drawn on with Sharpie pen, which never ran even if wet. You could roll them up like a lost treasure map and if you lost one you weren’t out much. Still there was no interest from Milton Bradley or Hasbro. Even in this, our greatest triumph, there was no satisfaction.
The years have gone by and even now I confess I get a little bit nostalgic for the raucous games I saw in all the commercials during those cartoon mornings so long ago (admittedly somewhat less nostalgic for BB). I sometimes press my nose against the window pane of memory and imagine what could have been if only life mirrored art. I still harbor a hope that someday I will sit down with a group of people I love and we will all engage in a mighty merry word game. It will be like a warm Thanksgiving celebration or victorious Super Bowl Party. Is it really too much to ask? Words live such a quiet life, it seems. Perhaps someday I will find that mythical place, the place they show in the TV commercials where people roll the dice and then bounce on the sofa excitedly, clasped fists raised in air. Where friends high five, and mothers and fathers look on shaking their head in a sort of loving gentle reproof at some antic. I hope so. And so does my wee tin friend, the Lone Ranger. Liberated by laughter and a shared game of endless linguistic possibilities.
Ride long tonight through golden board game fields of our dreams my friend. Be well.
PHOTO FACTS:
Rare Side B Beer Board Pictured Above Right, Circ. 17 MAR 1994
(Note authentic Keystone Light tin spinner in center)
Faces have been obscured to protect the innocent.
I am not one of the innocent.
*Vizinni the Sicilian: "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Only slightly less well known is this: Never go against a Sicilian when dealth is on the line! Hahahahahaha" [Vizinni falls over dead] - The Princess Bride. Little known fact: Vizzini's advice on not getting involved in a land war in Asia is derived from the principles stated by Field Marshal Bernard L Montgomery (Viscount Alamein) in a speech in the House of Lords on 30 May 1962: "Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war is: Do not march on Moscow' ... Rule 2 is: 'Do not go fighting with your land armies in China.'"
21 October 2009
Carthagenian Literature
I admit, its a fake title that I simply made up. To my knowledge there is no such category as Carthagenian Literature. However, I have decided there have been too few good new titles in the Carthagenian Literature category and, therefore, I have completed a new poem as my modest contribution. The poem is, as of yet, still titleless.
It's a story of brawn, of cold and heat, sometimes of hunger. This is sort of a nod to the old Conan type warriors, the Hannibals and nameless marchers who marched and hacked and burned their way across the ages of history. From a conquering army, of course.
I've been thinking a lot about Poe, so my verbal doodles have been somewhat dark including, "Sewing the devil's whirlwind is a fractured bloody art." and "The sorrow of a sparrow forms the fletch of Hades' arrow." I mean who even knows if Hades had a bow .. but I digress.
I am Romans, Vikings, Vandals
Mongolians on the plain
My march is long
My heart is strong
The tongue I speak is strange
I wear sandals, armor, helmet
Carry carbine, mace and shield
I’ve bayonet
Or Spectre’s threat
Upon the battlefield
I march for king and sovereign
For fiefdom and for pharaoh
Reap what’s sewn
I crack your bones
And feast upon your marrow
For age and age before me
And age after I’m gone
You’ll speak of me
My victory
And recount what I've done
It's a story of brawn, of cold and heat, sometimes of hunger. This is sort of a nod to the old Conan type warriors, the Hannibals and nameless marchers who marched and hacked and burned their way across the ages of history. From a conquering army, of course.
I've been thinking a lot about Poe, so my verbal doodles have been somewhat dark including, "Sewing the devil's whirlwind is a fractured bloody art." and "The sorrow of a sparrow forms the fletch of Hades' arrow." I mean who even knows if Hades had a bow .. but I digress.
I am Romans, Vikings, Vandals
Mongolians on the plain
My march is long
My heart is strong
The tongue I speak is strange
I wear sandals, armor, helmet
Carry carbine, mace and shield
I’ve bayonet
Or Spectre’s threat
Upon the battlefield
I march for king and sovereign
For fiefdom and for pharaoh
Reap what’s sewn
I crack your bones
And feast upon your marrow
For age and age before me
And age after I’m gone
You’ll speak of me
My victory
And recount what I've done
17 October 2009
My new satchel - A lovestory in leather
What is it about good leather that seduces us? We cant get enough of it. We love leather so much we even love bad leather. We love leather so much we even love pleather. Ok, well, that may be taking it a little far. Still, the fact remains that we love leather. We even covet the smell!
When I hear the word leather I can hear the creak of my old saddle. Leather makes me think of dark wood, classic libraries, trips via steamer and train, and the soft cover of old books. Leather is classic, organic, comforting. In a world gone mad for shiny and new, leather still holds court. It is still influential. Leather abides.
And then yesterday ... I saw it .. this. It was just laying there, on the floor in the antique dealers shop display. Propped up against a table leg as if it had been set down one afternoon and then, in that moment, forgotten. Never to be remembered again. Just laying there waiting to be useful. Loved. Its rich mahogany color called to me like a siren, corrupting my better judgment. I simply had to have it!
But I left it there, propped up on the floor of the shop display. Forgotten by all as it was before. Still without a home. Still for sale. I bit my lip and walked away. This was the way it had to be.
Only it wasn't forgotten. I remembered our brief, euphoric time together. How I had opened it and looked inside. The pockets were perfect for filling with books and letters and plans. I chittered and chattered all night about it. We were going to cycle across France and write the great American Novel. We would spy with it, date with it, and perhaps one day wander onto a movie set (quite by accident) where the director would see me with it and just have to have it in the shot. It would be my carry on, my carry about, my classic style. And all who saw me would know me by it. My nephews would fight over it after I was gone. It would be a collector's item because it had been in "that movie". I talked about it, wondered about it ... like it was the new girl at school - so interesting and pretty and nice.
This morning I woke up and the rain was dripping from the sky. The leaves were shiny and bright like waxed apples. My man asked me to go for a walk. Just him and me and our umbrella. It was a walk like the ones in the movies. The brilliant leaves fluttered to the ground. I twirled my umbrella and smiled at him sideways. We laughed. It was very wet and very cozy.
And then we were at the antique store. My man was picking up the satchel and handing to to me. I was holding it! My new best friend! My little Hemingway. And then we were all walking home together .. the three of us. I was giddy! When I got home I rubbed it down completely with Lexol. The lovely chestnut color of before grew deeper. The leather is so soft. I am like a new mother! See how its bright brass snaps twinkle and wink at me like a continental flirt! Such a smart satchel, a classic. Together we shall build empires!
30 August 2007
Coffee
In the beginning... coffee, dark and forgiving. Coffee pulls back the curtain of night and reveals a bright new world. It's like putting your feet in dark, loamy soil of the earth ... getting back to where it all began. And for me, coffee is the truly beginning - the holy grail of the morning.
I wonder if I can get a grail cup from my local coffee house? "Would that be blasphemy?" I wonder as I reposition my Jesus Action Figure. I dismiss the thought quicker than my sparking Godzilla nun toy winds down. I was raised American, after all, there is no reason why the interests of commerce and holiness cannot live happily side by side. No matter how fine of a line exists between Saturday night and Sunday morning you must still cross over the river Coffee before you can learn about the River Styx. Coffee separates all. Keeps it in it's respective place.
Caffeine is the security blanket of the morning. Therefore, it's important to make sure your coffee is fresh and of the highest quality. No moth-eaten, second rate coffee. No over-processesed, over-advertised, and over-rated coffee. Just fresh-ground brewed strong and in my cup. AHHH.
I wonder if I can get a grail cup from my local coffee house? "Would that be blasphemy?" I wonder as I reposition my Jesus Action Figure. I dismiss the thought quicker than my sparking Godzilla nun toy winds down. I was raised American, after all, there is no reason why the interests of commerce and holiness cannot live happily side by side. No matter how fine of a line exists between Saturday night and Sunday morning you must still cross over the river Coffee before you can learn about the River Styx. Coffee separates all. Keeps it in it's respective place.
Caffeine is the security blanket of the morning. Therefore, it's important to make sure your coffee is fresh and of the highest quality. No moth-eaten, second rate coffee. No over-processesed, over-advertised, and over-rated coffee. Just fresh-ground brewed strong and in my cup. AHHH.
25 May 2007
Notes from beneath the Bridge of the Gods
From my journal a few weeks back on a trip up to the Columbia River Gorge.
It's 08:00 here in Cascade Locks, OR. There are clouds over the Columbia River. And here I sit with three really bad cups of coffee and two 3/4 oz blocks of Tillamook Cheddar cheese. There was no toast so here I sit with the cheese delicately gripped between my index finger and thumb, pinky in the air. Nothing like the refinement and epicurean panache of a farm girl! Give her a cheese and she'll make a smile. (lame).
My big city ways have rubbed off on me, though. I realized I may have become a bit of a coffee snob when I stood at the four air pumpers of coffee trying to discern which would be the best choice for the morning of solitary soul searching. I of course dismissed the decaf outright. That left three. I read the placard description of the first. A mild sweet blend, perfect for breakfast. Same for the second pot. And the third pot. It was then I realized while I pondered the air pots trying imagining my pleased pallet there is a minimum wage hotel employee around the corner making two more pots of coffee out of the pre-packaged hotel coffee. How gourmet!! I laughed to myself and pumped three of the smallish cups full of caffeine for the road.
From my vantage point I can observe the ravens flitting about on the limbs of a tree down by the river. One cocky fellow is strutting down the trailroad tracks like some raven hobo. Where are you going little Mr. Raven and why do you take the train? To see America, country girl! comes the reply.
And now a smoker joins me on my terrace. Him in his pajama bottoms with cancer stick aglow. Nothing like a fine breath of death on the morning breeze. The joys of the bourgeois hotel experience. A man .. in PAJAMAS! But I do not know him. I am somewhat offended in my senses. He might at least of had the dignity to slyly slip on a pair of Levis or maybe some of those baggy, rag-tag jeans they wear these days. No one would have known the sleepy truth.
The sleepy truth. It sounds like a hot southern setting. The truth lays low and quiet in the southern heat, too lazy to be roused until some do-gooder pokes around a little too much and rouses that sleepy truth. Boy is it grumpy because it's hot! Now woken and grumpy the sleepy truth rages! Like a fiery dragon's breath ... it burns down the town like a napalm drop in the Vietnamese foliage. Well, pajama boy better watch out if he's got that kind of sleepy truth in his pants. Better wear underwear ... maybe a good zinc or cortisone cream, too. I don't know. Good. Pajama boy left. Perhaps he sensed my indignant cheese nibbling nature.
Well, I should go in and be up with the day. I depart here from beneath the Bridge of the Gods a veritable God myself ... or so I say ...
Punchbowl Falls, Eagle Creek, Columbia River Gorge, Oregon April 2007
It's 08:00 here in Cascade Locks, OR. There are clouds over the Columbia River. And here I sit with three really bad cups of coffee and two 3/4 oz blocks of Tillamook Cheddar cheese. There was no toast so here I sit with the cheese delicately gripped between my index finger and thumb, pinky in the air. Nothing like the refinement and epicurean panache of a farm girl! Give her a cheese and she'll make a smile. (lame).
My big city ways have rubbed off on me, though. I realized I may have become a bit of a coffee snob when I stood at the four air pumpers of coffee trying to discern which would be the best choice for the morning of solitary soul searching. I of course dismissed the decaf outright. That left three. I read the placard description of the first. A mild sweet blend, perfect for breakfast. Same for the second pot. And the third pot. It was then I realized while I pondered the air pots trying imagining my pleased pallet there is a minimum wage hotel employee around the corner making two more pots of coffee out of the pre-packaged hotel coffee. How gourmet!! I laughed to myself and pumped three of the smallish cups full of caffeine for the road.
From my vantage point I can observe the ravens flitting about on the limbs of a tree down by the river. One cocky fellow is strutting down the trailroad tracks like some raven hobo. Where are you going little Mr. Raven and why do you take the train? To see America, country girl! comes the reply.
And now a smoker joins me on my terrace. Him in his pajama bottoms with cancer stick aglow. Nothing like a fine breath of death on the morning breeze. The joys of the bourgeois hotel experience. A man .. in PAJAMAS! But I do not know him. I am somewhat offended in my senses. He might at least of had the dignity to slyly slip on a pair of Levis or maybe some of those baggy, rag-tag jeans they wear these days. No one would have known the sleepy truth.
The sleepy truth. It sounds like a hot southern setting. The truth lays low and quiet in the southern heat, too lazy to be roused until some do-gooder pokes around a little too much and rouses that sleepy truth. Boy is it grumpy because it's hot! Now woken and grumpy the sleepy truth rages! Like a fiery dragon's breath ... it burns down the town like a napalm drop in the Vietnamese foliage. Well, pajama boy better watch out if he's got that kind of sleepy truth in his pants. Better wear underwear ... maybe a good zinc or cortisone cream, too. I don't know. Good. Pajama boy left. Perhaps he sensed my indignant cheese nibbling nature.
Well, I should go in and be up with the day. I depart here from beneath the Bridge of the Gods a veritable God myself ... or so I say ...
Punchbowl Falls, Eagle Creek, Columbia River Gorge, Oregon April 2007
29 January 2007
Right Women
It is often a good test of a policy or thought to reverse it and see if it still holds true. Stay at home fathers are considered forward-thinking, modern, even sophisticated when compared to their male counterparts. Not so for women. I have long found it ironic that, while the Left advocates that women be allowed to choose whatever career path they may like to follow to be considered equally in the workplace as men, stay-at home mom's have curiously been thought of as somehow left behind, down-trodden, achieving below their potential, or otherwise pitiable creature. Left behind again by the group that vocalizes how concerned they are for them. Maybe thats why they call it the Left. They are always leaving someone behind. Those guys have more casualties than Hamburger Hill.
Enter now this quote that I just love from Townhall.com's Mary Katherine Ham. It was printed in a recent issue of The Washington Post
Right women
Pondering the lineup for a panel discussion at National Review's "conservative summit" featuring Kate O'Beirne, Kathryn Lopez, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham and Mona Charen, TownHall.com blogger Mary Katharine Ham joked: "You know, sometimes when I'm standing around my kitchen in my RNC standard-issue apron baking cookies instead of working, it occurs to me for just one second how oppressed I am, as a conservative woman. I wonder to myself, 'Why didn't I join the party of "women's rights," where I could express myself and achieve something beyond the perfect pineapple upside-down cake and a couple young'ins?' ...
"If only there were somewhere in this movement for a young woman to find inspiration. Oh well. Back to my cookies."
Enter now this quote that I just love from Townhall.com's Mary Katherine Ham. It was printed in a recent issue of The Washington Post
Right women
Pondering the lineup for a panel discussion at National Review's "conservative summit" featuring Kate O'Beirne, Kathryn Lopez, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham and Mona Charen, TownHall.com blogger Mary Katharine Ham joked: "You know, sometimes when I'm standing around my kitchen in my RNC standard-issue apron baking cookies instead of working, it occurs to me for just one second how oppressed I am, as a conservative woman. I wonder to myself, 'Why didn't I join the party of "women's rights," where I could express myself and achieve something beyond the perfect pineapple upside-down cake and a couple young'ins?' ...
"If only there were somewhere in this movement for a young woman to find inspiration. Oh well. Back to my cookies."
18 January 2007
Hagakure
Re-reading some of my underlined passages from Hagakure, the Book of the Samurai by Yamamoto Tsunetomo (from the William Scott Wilson translation).
It is difficult for a fool's habits to change to selflessness. In confronting a matter, however, if at first you leave it alone, fix the four vows in your heart, exclude self interest, and make an effort, you will not go far from your mark.
B...y bringing shame to a person, how can one expect to make him a better man?
...Moreover, a woman should consider her husband first, just as he considers his master first.
...Recently, people who are called "clever" adorn themselves with superficial wisdom and only deceive others. For this reason they are inferior to dull-witted folk. ...
Once there was a certain man who was very clever, but such was his character to always see the negative points of his job. In such a way, one will be useless. ...
... This was an unbecoming thing to say ... It was rather low... Speaking of other people in this way is no different from an exchange between low class spearman. It is vulgar.
... It is a wretched thing that young men of today are so contriving so contriving and so proud of their material possessions. Men with contriving hearts are lacking in duty. Lacking in duty they will have no self-respect.
It is not good to settle into a set of opinions. It is a mistake to put forth effort and obtain some understanding and then stop at that. At first putting forth great effort to be sure that you have grasped the basics, then practicing so that they may come to fruition is something that will never stop for your whole lifetime. Do not rely on following the degree of understanding that you have discovered, but simply think, "This is not enough." One should search through his whole life how best to follow the Way. And he should study, setting his mind to work without putting things off. Within this is the Way.
The right and wrong of one' s way of doing things are found in trivial matters.
Those things that are easily understood are rather shallow.
There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment. Everyone lets the present moment slip by as though he thought it were somewhere else. No one seems to have noticed this fact. ... When one understands this settling into single-mindedness well, his affairs will thin out. Loyalty is also contained within this single mindedness.
Be true to the thought of the moment and avoid distraction. Other than continuing to exert yourself, enter into nothing else, but go into the extent of living single thought by single thought.
The brave men of old times were for the most part rowdies. As they were of the disposition to be out running amuck, their vitality was strong and they were brave. ... These days rowdiness is nonexistent because man's vitality has weakened. Vitality has fallen behind but man's character has improved.
As Yasuda Ukyo said about offering up the last wine cup, only the end of things is important. One's whole life should be like this. When guests are leaving, the mood of being reluctant to say farwell is essential. ... In all dealings with people it is essetnial to have a fresh approach. One should constantly give the impression that he is doing something exceptional.
At a glance, every individuals own measure of dignity is manifested just as it is. There is dignity in personal appearance. There is dignity in a calm aspect. There is dignity in a paucity of words. There is dignity in flawlessness of manners. There is dignity in solemn behavior. And there is dignity in deep insight and clear perspective. These are all reflected on the srugace. By the end, their foundation is simplicity of thought and tautness of spirit.
Covetousness, anger and foolishness are things to sort out well. When bad things happen in the world... they are not unrelated to these three things. Looking comparatively at the good things, you will see that htey are not excluded from wisdom, humanity, and bravery.
02 January 2007
Cowboy Lingo
I have purchased a new book written in 1936 titled Cowboy Lingo. It is a comprehensive listing, a real time capsule, of cowboy colloquialisms of the time. Some of them are still relevant today. I think the thing that made me laugh was how much the description applied not only to cowboys, but also to the infantry boys I know. See what you think. Anywhere it says cowboys I like to change the word to infantry or Army (though I'm sure it applies to other branches and MOS', as well).
Always in the presence of new features of life and divorced as he was obliged to be from the older traditions of a settled life, in speech, as in other activities, he broke through the restraint imposed by established usage and created a language of his own... There is always one thing that stamps a man for what he is and that is his speech. The basic reason for the difference between the cowboy and other men rests on an individual liberty, ... an accepting of his own standards alone.
... The cowboy was not a highly educated man as a rule, but he never lacked for expression. Perhaps there was pungency and directness about his speech that seemed novel and strange to conventional people, but no one could accuse him of being bore some. ... His peculiar directness of phrase meant freedom from restraint, either of society or convention. He respected neither the dictionary nor usage, but employed his words in the manner that best suited him and arranged them in a sequence that best expressed his idea. He was of a strong young race which laid firm hands on language and squeezed juice from it.
... With a keen sense of humor that took unexpected slants ... the cowboy seemed to express himself more freely with a slang which strengthened rather than weakened his speech. ... In dealing with the cowboy’s lingo, mention should be made of his profanity. His blasphemy, however appalling as it is, had it's foundation on arbitrarily created custom and not from any wish to be wicked. Many of his expressions, while sacrilegious on the tongues of others were but slang when used by him. The common use of the name of the Deity was with no intention of reviling God. ... Words could be an insult or term of affection, according to the tone which they were spoken. Therefore, men frequently were endearingly addressed with seeming curses and apparently scourging epithets.
His swearing was to no small extent a purely conventional exhibition of very human and boy like desire to blow off steam but it became so habitual that, though most cowboys endeavored to refrain it when in the presence of a decent women, few of them were able to keep the lid on the can of cuss words.
To observe a riot of imagination turned loose with the bridle off, on e must hear a burst of anger on the part of on e of these men. It would be mostly unprintable, but you would get an entirely new idea of what profanity means. The most obscure, remote, and unheard-of conceptions would be dragged forth from earth, heaven, and hell and linked together in a sequence so original, so gaudy, and so utterly blasphemous that you would gasp and be stricken with admiration. ...
Always in the presence of new features of life and divorced as he was obliged to be from the older traditions of a settled life, in speech, as in other activities, he broke through the restraint imposed by established usage and created a language of his own... There is always one thing that stamps a man for what he is and that is his speech. The basic reason for the difference between the cowboy and other men rests on an individual liberty, ... an accepting of his own standards alone.
... The cowboy was not a highly educated man as a rule, but he never lacked for expression. Perhaps there was pungency and directness about his speech that seemed novel and strange to conventional people, but no one could accuse him of being bore some. ... His peculiar directness of phrase meant freedom from restraint, either of society or convention. He respected neither the dictionary nor usage, but employed his words in the manner that best suited him and arranged them in a sequence that best expressed his idea. He was of a strong young race which laid firm hands on language and squeezed juice from it.
... With a keen sense of humor that took unexpected slants ... the cowboy seemed to express himself more freely with a slang which strengthened rather than weakened his speech. ... In dealing with the cowboy’s lingo, mention should be made of his profanity. His blasphemy, however appalling as it is, had it's foundation on arbitrarily created custom and not from any wish to be wicked. Many of his expressions, while sacrilegious on the tongues of others were but slang when used by him. The common use of the name of the Deity was with no intention of reviling God. ... Words could be an insult or term of affection, according to the tone which they were spoken. Therefore, men frequently were endearingly addressed with seeming curses and apparently scourging epithets.
His swearing was to no small extent a purely conventional exhibition of very human and boy like desire to blow off steam but it became so habitual that, though most cowboys endeavored to refrain it when in the presence of a decent women, few of them were able to keep the lid on the can of cuss words.
To observe a riot of imagination turned loose with the bridle off, on e must hear a burst of anger on the part of on e of these men. It would be mostly unprintable, but you would get an entirely new idea of what profanity means. The most obscure, remote, and unheard-of conceptions would be dragged forth from earth, heaven, and hell and linked together in a sequence so original, so gaudy, and so utterly blasphemous that you would gasp and be stricken with admiration. ...
07 September 2006
01 September 2006
Potential
What's scarier? That the universe is cruel and indifferent, or that it might actually be responsive to your deepest needs and desires? Set your sights on personal and professional goals and see what happens.
I've written several emails lately that amuse me so I'm going to paste their content here.
Sometimes I feel like old Wordsworth. I look around at my world and wonder at all the soul-less zombies walking about. I wonder why they dont see the wonder that I see. And I wish for a time that I feel was more worthwhile.
The world is too much with us - Wordsworth
The world is too much with us; late and soon
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers'
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
and are up gathered now like sleeping flowers'
For this, for everything, we are out of tune'
It moves us not - Great God! I would rather be
A pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I standing on this pleasant lea
have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn
One of my favorite poems is the one below by Li Po. This is how I spent nearly all my time in Alaska. Ok, kidding ... Not all of it. Alaska was beautiful and I sometimes think if it all came crashing down around me I would go back. When I stop to rationalize, though, I wonder if I wouldnt pick someplace with more opportunity. If onlyI could figure out where that is... In reality... opportunity is where you make it. Not where you find it. Which in the end, is what Li Po discovers in his poem.... which is maybe why I like it best after all.
Drinking alone in the moonlight - Li Po
Beneath the blossoms with a pot of wine
No friends at hand so I poured alone
I raised my cup to invite the moon
Turned to my shadow and we became three
No w the moon had never learned about drinking
And my shadow had merely followed my form
But I quickly made friends with the moon and my shadow
To find pleasure in life, make the most of the spring
Whenever I sang the moon swayed with me
Whenever I danced my shadow went wild
Drinking we shared our enjoyment together
Drunk then each went off on his own
But forever agreed on dispassionate revels,
We promised to meet in the far Milky Way
Today I have my hair like Farah Fawcett circa way back when. It makes me feel voluminous. I have to walk like a super model and order black coffee and cocaine with hair like this. I feel so urban. I should be a rock star and tie long scarfs to my microphone. I shall call myself "Axel" but people will have to pronounce the X in Spanish so it will be "Ah-hell" .. like dark eyed woman from a foreign land crossed with a curse word. Maybe I will put an extra L on the end just to be eccentric.
So what's up with that new band that they are trying to form that they are always showing on TV? Supernova I think it's called? My band is going to be called Knifes and Flowers, I think, or maybe Toxin.. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll form a middle aged (I'm not middle aged but all the middle aged women will think I am but that I just look hot still, therefore, deifying and worshiping me and making me pretty much cool) band called Bo-Tox and our theme will be "The music that keeps you Young" Our tshirts will say "MILF's ROCK" and our concerts will be sponsored by OSCAL calcium supplement. I hear traveling on the pharmaceutical dime is a pretty cushy lifestyle. Instead of Xtasy they will be popping estrogen hormone replacement pills and red bull.
Well, the weather outside is frightful. Actually, it's just a little chilly but the sun is shining, which is anything but frightful. To prove that I will enter into evidence any horror story you have ever heard, read, or watched on the big screen. They never and I do mean never begin with, "It was a bright and sunny night."
The world is too much with us - Wordsworth
The world is too much with us; late and soon
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers'
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
and are up gathered now like sleeping flowers'
For this, for everything, we are out of tune'
It moves us not - Great God! I would rather be
A pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I standing on this pleasant lea
have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn
One of my favorite poems is the one below by Li Po. This is how I spent nearly all my time in Alaska. Ok, kidding ... Not all of it. Alaska was beautiful and I sometimes think if it all came crashing down around me I would go back. When I stop to rationalize, though, I wonder if I wouldnt pick someplace with more opportunity. If onlyI could figure out where that is... In reality... opportunity is where you make it. Not where you find it. Which in the end, is what Li Po discovers in his poem.... which is maybe why I like it best after all.
Drinking alone in the moonlight - Li Po
Beneath the blossoms with a pot of wine
No friends at hand so I poured alone
I raised my cup to invite the moon
Turned to my shadow and we became three
No w the moon had never learned about drinking
And my shadow had merely followed my form
But I quickly made friends with the moon and my shadow
To find pleasure in life, make the most of the spring
Whenever I sang the moon swayed with me
Whenever I danced my shadow went wild
Drinking we shared our enjoyment together
Drunk then each went off on his own
But forever agreed on dispassionate revels,
We promised to meet in the far Milky Way
Today I have my hair like Farah Fawcett circa way back when. It makes me feel voluminous. I have to walk like a super model and order black coffee and cocaine with hair like this. I feel so urban. I should be a rock star and tie long scarfs to my microphone. I shall call myself "Axel" but people will have to pronounce the X in Spanish so it will be "Ah-hell" .. like dark eyed woman from a foreign land crossed with a curse word. Maybe I will put an extra L on the end just to be eccentric.
So what's up with that new band that they are trying to form that they are always showing on TV? Supernova I think it's called? My band is going to be called Knifes and Flowers, I think, or maybe Toxin.. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll form a middle aged (I'm not middle aged but all the middle aged women will think I am but that I just look hot still, therefore, deifying and worshiping me and making me pretty much cool) band called Bo-Tox and our theme will be "The music that keeps you Young" Our tshirts will say "MILF's ROCK" and our concerts will be sponsored by OSCAL calcium supplement. I hear traveling on the pharmaceutical dime is a pretty cushy lifestyle. Instead of Xtasy they will be popping estrogen hormone replacement pills and red bull.
Well, the weather outside is frightful. Actually, it's just a little chilly but the sun is shining, which is anything but frightful. To prove that I will enter into evidence any horror story you have ever heard, read, or watched on the big screen. They never and I do mean never begin with, "It was a bright and sunny night."
A couple things I've seen in print lately
"You know, Mom, some people think that leadership is a privilege, but I think of it more as a duty."
"I hate it when you're so hungover that you don't want coffee, but knowing that coffee is essential to making the hangover go away, and then on the way to the coffee shop you pass a pigeon that has been run over with its guts hanging out, and you almost throw up in the street. It happens every time."
"I hate it when you're so hungover that you don't want coffee, but knowing that coffee is essential to making the hangover go away, and then on the way to the coffee shop you pass a pigeon that has been run over with its guts hanging out, and you almost throw up in the street. It happens every time."
23 August 2006
I am a Snapdragon
"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."
| |
09 August 2006
Negativitis’ cripples the human spirit
Negative Thinking
‘Negativitis’ cripples the human spirit
Does it seem strange that some people COMPLAIN they don’t have enough TIME to be happy, yet they find enough time to be sad? Not really. You see, their deplorable plight has nothing to do with having sufficient or insufficient time. It has everything to do with complaining. After all, complaining is the negation of happiness. It’s impossible to complain and be happy at the same time.
So, beware of that insidious disease known as ‘negativitis’ (negative thinking). It is as pervasive as the common cold, but far more damaging. It mutilates, cripples, and corrodes the human spirit. Those infected by it are broken men and women aimlessly plodding along. The dark clouds brooding over them obscure their vision and cause them to become confrontational, apathetic, and cynical. Their lives are like flat champagne, without any sizzle. So, how do we inoculate ourselves against such a harmful disease? It was only after learning about the horrible effects of smoking that people began to give it up. It may be wise to do the same here. So, let’s review the effects of negativitis.
1. Complaining is worse than doing nothing, for it is digging the rut one is in deeper and deeper. Each time one complains, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch they’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.
2. A negative attitude is self-defeating. We won’t find solutions to life’s problems by looking for someone or something to blame. Those who say, "Positive thinking doesn't work for me," have got it backwards. It’s not positive thinking that has to work; YOU have to work. For example, you have to work at appreciating what you have instead of moaning about what you lack.
3. Failure to do what you want to do (be happy) causes physical and mental stress. A rotten attitude, not only delays success, but also shortens life by damaging the immune system (to learn more on how your thoughts affect your immune system, investigate psychoneuroimmunology). So, besides the diseases directly caused by stress, such as heart disease and ulcers, we become susceptible to all manner of other diseases because of a weakened immune system.
4. Do you know anyone with a negative attitude? How many years have they been that way? Two years? Five years? Ten years? That’s how many years of happiness and success they have robbed themselves of. Blinded by their own negativity, they are prevented from seeing the good around them.
5. One characteristic of negative thinkers is their need to have the world behave according to their wishes. They have never grown up and still live with childish demands. Whenever people and the world fail to act according to their selfish wishes, they are unhappy. Such a poisonous attitude prevents them from growing and learning how to cope with life's challenges.
6. Everything negative we say about ourselves to ourselves (self-talk) and to others is a suggestion. We are unwittingly practicing self-hypnosis, programing ourselves for failure, and creating self-fulfilling prophecies.
7. The negative world of our imagination creates a negative world that is real and one that we are forced to live in. Take Ralph, for example. He’s always complaining about life. “Nowadays people are rude and surly. No matter where you go or what you do, you have to deal with ill-bred people.” As he said this, we made our way to a coffee shop. Once inside, we were greeted by a cheerful chap who asked us what we would like. Sighing (as if it took a great effect to speak), Ralph, almost inaudibly, ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, he started complaining. Pointing to the cup, he said, “This is medium?” Without waiting for a response, he added, “You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line that Ralph was holding up, the man behind the counter tried to be patient. Without complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Ralph looked at it aghast and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The man behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but if you INSIST, I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” I was next, so I got my coffee and joined Ralph at the table. “See,” he told me, “what did I say to you? People are rude.” Yes, in Ralph’s world, people ARE rude, but what he does not realize is he makes them so.
8. A particularly pernicious effect of ‘negativitis’ is that it sets one up for the mentality of a victim. Those with a woe-is-me attitude sit around in misery, waiting to be rescued. But they wait in vain because no one can rescue them from their own attitude. They are the only ones who can change it. And until they do so, they are condemned to continue suffering.
9. Another adverse effect of negativity is that it sets one up for the magic-bullet-syndrome. That is, the victim of ‘negativitis’ spends their time looking for a quick, easy fix, when none exists. By denying a fundamental law of life that states anything worthwhile requires effort to achieve, they achieve nothing. They won’t make progress until they realize that nothing in life is free. They’ve got to be willing to do what it takes to get what they want.
10. Also, beware of the fact that negative people attract other complainers. Because those who live in a world of doom and gloom alienate others, they have no choice but to look for other negative people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of losers.
11. The constant stress that flows from a negative attitude also saps one’s energy, focus, and motivation. It is hardly a formula for success.
12. Also of great concern is the fact that those who refuse to work on improving their negative attitude may slide into depression, self-pity, and hopelessness.
13. Additionally, negative people not only harm themselves; they harm the world. They cease to make a contribution to it. Instead of helping, they spread gloom and misery everywhere. If they insist on infecting others, why not infect them with laughter? If they must carry something contagious, why not carry a smile?
Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!
© Chuck Gallozzi
source
‘Negativitis’ cripples the human spirit
Does it seem strange that some people COMPLAIN they don’t have enough TIME to be happy, yet they find enough time to be sad? Not really. You see, their deplorable plight has nothing to do with having sufficient or insufficient time. It has everything to do with complaining. After all, complaining is the negation of happiness. It’s impossible to complain and be happy at the same time.
So, beware of that insidious disease known as ‘negativitis’ (negative thinking). It is as pervasive as the common cold, but far more damaging. It mutilates, cripples, and corrodes the human spirit. Those infected by it are broken men and women aimlessly plodding along. The dark clouds brooding over them obscure their vision and cause them to become confrontational, apathetic, and cynical. Their lives are like flat champagne, without any sizzle. So, how do we inoculate ourselves against such a harmful disease? It was only after learning about the horrible effects of smoking that people began to give it up. It may be wise to do the same here. So, let’s review the effects of negativitis.
1. Complaining is worse than doing nothing, for it is digging the rut one is in deeper and deeper. Each time one complains, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch they’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.
2. A negative attitude is self-defeating. We won’t find solutions to life’s problems by looking for someone or something to blame. Those who say, "Positive thinking doesn't work for me," have got it backwards. It’s not positive thinking that has to work; YOU have to work. For example, you have to work at appreciating what you have instead of moaning about what you lack.
3. Failure to do what you want to do (be happy) causes physical and mental stress. A rotten attitude, not only delays success, but also shortens life by damaging the immune system (to learn more on how your thoughts affect your immune system, investigate psychoneuroimmunology). So, besides the diseases directly caused by stress, such as heart disease and ulcers, we become susceptible to all manner of other diseases because of a weakened immune system.
4. Do you know anyone with a negative attitude? How many years have they been that way? Two years? Five years? Ten years? That’s how many years of happiness and success they have robbed themselves of. Blinded by their own negativity, they are prevented from seeing the good around them.
5. One characteristic of negative thinkers is their need to have the world behave according to their wishes. They have never grown up and still live with childish demands. Whenever people and the world fail to act according to their selfish wishes, they are unhappy. Such a poisonous attitude prevents them from growing and learning how to cope with life's challenges.
6. Everything negative we say about ourselves to ourselves (self-talk) and to others is a suggestion. We are unwittingly practicing self-hypnosis, programing ourselves for failure, and creating self-fulfilling prophecies.
7. The negative world of our imagination creates a negative world that is real and one that we are forced to live in. Take Ralph, for example. He’s always complaining about life. “Nowadays people are rude and surly. No matter where you go or what you do, you have to deal with ill-bred people.” As he said this, we made our way to a coffee shop. Once inside, we were greeted by a cheerful chap who asked us what we would like. Sighing (as if it took a great effect to speak), Ralph, almost inaudibly, ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, he started complaining. Pointing to the cup, he said, “This is medium?” Without waiting for a response, he added, “You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line that Ralph was holding up, the man behind the counter tried to be patient. Without complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Ralph looked at it aghast and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The man behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but if you INSIST, I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” I was next, so I got my coffee and joined Ralph at the table. “See,” he told me, “what did I say to you? People are rude.” Yes, in Ralph’s world, people ARE rude, but what he does not realize is he makes them so.
8. A particularly pernicious effect of ‘negativitis’ is that it sets one up for the mentality of a victim. Those with a woe-is-me attitude sit around in misery, waiting to be rescued. But they wait in vain because no one can rescue them from their own attitude. They are the only ones who can change it. And until they do so, they are condemned to continue suffering.
9. Another adverse effect of negativity is that it sets one up for the magic-bullet-syndrome. That is, the victim of ‘negativitis’ spends their time looking for a quick, easy fix, when none exists. By denying a fundamental law of life that states anything worthwhile requires effort to achieve, they achieve nothing. They won’t make progress until they realize that nothing in life is free. They’ve got to be willing to do what it takes to get what they want.
10. Also, beware of the fact that negative people attract other complainers. Because those who live in a world of doom and gloom alienate others, they have no choice but to look for other negative people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of losers.
11. The constant stress that flows from a negative attitude also saps one’s energy, focus, and motivation. It is hardly a formula for success.
12. Also of great concern is the fact that those who refuse to work on improving their negative attitude may slide into depression, self-pity, and hopelessness.
13. Additionally, negative people not only harm themselves; they harm the world. They cease to make a contribution to it. Instead of helping, they spread gloom and misery everywhere. If they insist on infecting others, why not infect them with laughter? If they must carry something contagious, why not carry a smile?
Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!
© Chuck Gallozzi
source
I found this great post about negativity and science around negative people and their brains.
Source
Everyone's favorite A-list target, Robert Scoble, announced the unthinkable a few days ago: he will be moderating his comments. But what some people found far more disturbing was Robert's wish to make a change in his life that includes steering clear of "people who were deeply unhappy" and hanging around people who are happy. The harsh reaction he's gotten could be a lesson in scientific ingorance, because the neuroscience is behind him on this one.
Whether it's a good move is up to each person to decide, but I've done my best here to offer some facts. [Disclaimer: I'm not an authority on the brain! I have, however, spent the last 15 years doing research and applying it, both in my work and also because I have a serious brain disorder, and my brain knowledge could be a matter of life and death. Another disclaimer: I haven't spoken with Robert about this; I'm simply offering some science that supports the decision he may have made for entirely different reasons.]
A few things I'll try to explain in this post:
1) One of the most important recent neuroscience discoveries--"mirror neurons", and the role they play in a decision like Robert's
2) The heavily-researched social science phenomenon known as "emotional contagion"
3) Ignorance and misperceptions around the idea of "happy people"
Mirror Neurons
Mirror neurons have been referred to by scientists like V.S. Rmachandran as one of the most important neuroscientific breakthroughs of recent history. This Nova video is a great introduction, but here's the condensed version:
There is now strong evidence to suggest that humans have the same type of "mirror neurons" found in monkeys. It's what these neurons do that's amazing--they activate in the same way when you're watching someone else do something as they do when you're doing it yourself! This mirroring process/capability is thought to be behind our ability to empathize, but you can imagine the role these neurons have played in keeping us alive as a species. We learn from watching others. We learn from imitating (mirroring) others. The potential problem, though, is that these neurons go happily about their business of imitating others without our conscious intention.
Think about that...
Although the neuroscientific findings are new, your sports coach and your parents didn't need to know the cause to recognize the effects:
"Choose your role models carefully."
"Watching Michael Jordan will help you get better."
"You're hanging out with the wrong crowd; they're a bad influence."
"Don't watch people doing it wrong... watch the experts!"
We've all experienced it. How often have you found yourself sliding into the accent of those around you? Spend a month in England and even a California valley girl sounds different. Spend a week in Texas and even a native New Yorker starts slowing down his speech. How often have you found yourself laughing, dressing, skiing like your closest friend? Has someone ever observed that you and a close friend or significant other had similar mannerisms? When I was in junior high school, it was tough for people to tell my best friends and I apart on the phone--we all sounded so much alike that we could fool even our parents.
But the effect of our innate ability and need to imitate goes way past teenage phone tricks. Spend time with a nervous, anxious person and physiological monitoring would most likely show you mimicking the anxiety and nervousness, in ways that affect your brain and body in a concrete, measurable way. Find yourself in a room full of pissed off people and feel the smile slide right off your face. Listen to people complaining endlessly about work, and you'll find yourself starting to do the same. How many of us have been horrified to suddenly realize that we've spent the last half-hour caught up in a gossip session--despite our strong aversion to gossip? The behavior of others we're around is nearly irresistible.
When we're consciously aware and diligent, we can fight this. But the stress of maintaining that conscious struggle against an unconscious, ancient process is a non-stop stressful drain on our mental, emotional, and physical bandwidth. And no, I'm not suggesting that we can't or should'nt spend time with people who are angry, negative, critical, depressed, gossiping, whatever. Some (including my sister and father) chose professions (nurse practitioner and cop, respectively) that demand it. And some (like my daughter) volunteer to help those who are suffering (in her case, the homeless). Some people don't want to avoid their more hostile family members. But in those situations--where we choose to be with people who we do not want to mirror--we have to be extremely careful! Nurses, cops, mental health workers, EMTs, social workers, red cross volunteers, fire fighters, psychiatrists, oncologists, etc. are often at a higher risk (in some cases, WAY higher) for burnout, alcholism, divorce, stress, or depression unless they take specific steps to avoid getting too sucked in to be effective.
So, when Robert says he wants to spend time hanging around "happy people" and keeping his distance from "deeply unhappy" people, he's keeping his brain from making--over the long term--negative structural and chemical changes. Regarding the effect of mirror neurons and emotional contagion on personal performance, neurologist Richard Restak offers this advice:
"If you want to accomplish something that demands determination and endurance, try to surround yourself with people possessing these qualities. And try to limit the time you spend with people given to pessimism and expressions of futility. Unfortunately, negative emotions exert a more powerful effect in social situations than positive ones, thanks to the phenomena of emotional contagion."
This sounds harsh, and it is, but it's his recommendation based on the facts as the neuroscientists interpret them today. This is not new age self-help--it's simply the way brains work.
Emotional Contagion
Steven Stosny, an expert on road rage, is quoted in Restak's book:
"Anger and resentment are thet most contagious of emotions," according to Stonsy. "If you are near a resentful or angry person, you are more prone to become resentful or angry yourself. If one driver engages in angry gestures and takes on the facial expressions of hostility, surrounding drivers will unconsciously imitate the behavior--resulting in an escalation of anger and resentment in all of the drivers. Added to this, the drivers are now more easily startled as a result of the outpouring of adrenaline accompanying their anger. The result is a temper tantrum that can easily escalate into road rage."
If you were around one or more people with a potentially harmful contagious disease, you would probably take steps to protect yourself in some way. And if you were the contagious one, you'd likely take steps to protect others until you were sure the chance of infecting someone else was gone.
But while we all have a lot of respect for physical biological contagions, we do NOT have much respect for physical emotional contagions. (I said "physical", because science has known for quite some time that "emotions" are not simply a fuzzy-feeling concept, but represent physical changes in the brain.)
From a paper on Memetics and Social Contagion,
"...social scientific research has largely confirmed the thesis that affect, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour can indeed spread through populations as if they were somehow infectious. Simple exposure sometimes appears to be a sufficient condition for social transmission to occur. This is the social contagion thesis; that sociocultural phenomena can spread through, and leap between, populations more like outbreaks of measels or chicken pox than through a process of rational choice."
Emotional contagion is considered one of the primary drivers of group/mob behavior, and the recent work on "mirror neurons" helps explain the underlying cause. But it's not just about groups. From a Cambridge University Press book:
"When we are talking to someone who is depressed it may make us feel depressed, whereas if we talk to someone who is feeling self-confident and buoyant we are likely to feel good about ourselves. This phenomenon, known as emotional contagion, is identified here, and compelling evidence for its affect is offered from a variety of disciplines - social and developmental psychology, history, cross-cultural psychology, experimental psychology, and psychopathology."
[For a business management perspective, see the Yale School of Management paper titled The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion In Groups]
Can any of us honestly say we haven't experienced emotional contagion? Even if we ourselves haven't felt our energy drain from being around a perpetually negative person, we've watched it happen to someone we care about. We've noticed a change in ourselves or our loved ones based on who we/they spend time with. We've all known at least one person who really did seem able to "light up the room with their smile," or another who could "kill the mood" without saying a word. We've all found ourselves drawn to some people and not others, based on how we felt around them, in ways we weren't able to articulate.
So, Robert's choice makes sense if he is concerned about the damaging effects of emotional contagion. But... that still leaves one big issue: is "catching" only positive emotions a Good Thing? Does this mean surrounding ourselves with "fake" goodness and avoiding the truth? Does surrounding ourselves with "happy people" mean we shut down critical thinking skills?
Happy People
The notion of "Happy People" was tossed around in the Robert-Lost-His-Mind posts as something ridiculous at best, dangerous at worst. One blogger equated "happy people" with "vacuous". The idea seems to be that "happy people" implies those who are oblivious to the realities of life, in a fantasy of their own creation, and without the ability to think critically. The science, however, suggests just the opposite.
Neuroscience has made a long, intense study of the brain's fear system--one of the oldest, most primitive parts of our brain. Anger and negativity usually stem from the anxiety and/or fear response in the brain, and one thing we know for sure--when the brain thinks its about to be eaten or smashed by a giant boulder, there's no time to stop and think! In many ways, fear/anger and the ability to think rationally and logically are almost mutually exclusive. Those who stopped to weigh the pros and cons of a flight-or-fight decision were eaten, and didn't pass on their afraid-yet-thoughtful genes. Many neuroscientists (and half the US population) believes that it is exactly this fear != rational thought that best explains the outcome of the last US presidential election... but I digress.
Happines is associated most heavily with the left (i.e. logical) side of the brain, while anger is associated with the right (emotional, non-logical) side of the brain. From a Society for Neuroscience article on Bliss and the Brain:
"Furthermore, studies suggest that certain people's ability to see life through rose-colored glasses links to a heightened left-sided brain function. A scrutiny of brain activity indicates that individuals with natural positive dispositions have trumped up activity in the left prefrontal cortex compared with their more negative counterparts. "
In other words, happy people are better able to think logically.
And apparently happier = healthier:
"Evidence suggests that the left-siders may better handle stressful events on a biological level. For example, studies show that they have a higher function of cells that help defend the body, known as natural killer cells, compared with individuals who have greater right side activity. Left-sided students who face a stressful exam have a smaller drop in their killer cells than right-siders. Other research indicates that generally left-siders may have lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol."
And while we're dispelling the Happy=Vacuous myth, let's look at a couple more misperceptions:
"Happy people aren't critical."
"Happy people don't get angry."
"Happy people are obedient."
"Happy people can't be a disruptive force for change."
Hmmm... one of the world's leading experts in the art of happiness is the Dalai Lama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989. Just about everyone who hears him speak is struck by how, well, happy he is. How he can describe--with laughter--some of the most traumatizing events of his past. Talk about perspective...
But he is quite outspoken with his criticism of China. The thing is, he doesn't believe that criticism requires anger, or that being happy means you can't be a disruptive influence for good. On happiness, he has this to say:
"The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope."
And among the "happy people", there's Mahatma Gandhi, a force for change that included non-violent but oh-most-definitely-disobedient behavior. A few of my favorite Gandhi quotes:
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
But then there's the argument that says "anger" is morally (and intellectually) superior to "happy". The American Psychological Association has this to say on anger:
"People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake."
Of course it's still a myth that "happy people" don't get angry. Of course they do. Anger is often an appropriate response. But there's a Grand Canyon between a happy-person-who-gets-angry and an unhappy-angry-person. So yes, we get angry. Happiness is not our only emotion, it is simply the outlook we have chosen to cultivate because it is usually the most effective, thoughtful, healthy, and productive.
And there's this one we hear most often, especially in reference to comment moderation--"if you can't say whatever the hell you want to express your anger, you can't be authentic and honest." While that may be true, here's what the psychologists say:
"Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge."
And finally, another Ghandi quote:
"Be the change that you want to see in the world."
If the scientists are right, I might also add,
Be around the change you want to see in the world.
Remember the flight attendant's advice... you must put on your own oxygen mask first.
Posted by Kathy Sierra on April 17, 2006 | Permalink
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Everyone's favorite A-list target, Robert Scoble, announced the unthinkable a few days ago: he will be moderating his comments. But what some people found far more disturbing was Robert's wish to make a change in his life that includes steering clear of "people who were deeply unhappy" and hanging around people who are happy. The harsh reaction he's gotten could be a lesson in scientific ingorance, because the neuroscience is behind him on this one.
Whether it's a good move is up to each person to decide, but I've done my best here to offer some facts. [Disclaimer: I'm not an authority on the brain! I have, however, spent the last 15 years doing research and applying it, both in my work and also because I have a serious brain disorder, and my brain knowledge could be a matter of life and death. Another disclaimer: I haven't spoken with Robert about this; I'm simply offering some science that supports the decision he may have made for entirely different reasons.]
A few things I'll try to explain in this post:
1) One of the most important recent neuroscience discoveries--"mirror neurons", and the role they play in a decision like Robert's
2) The heavily-researched social science phenomenon known as "emotional contagion"
3) Ignorance and misperceptions around the idea of "happy people"
Mirror Neurons
Mirror neurons have been referred to by scientists like V.S. Rmachandran as one of the most important neuroscientific breakthroughs of recent history. This Nova video is a great introduction, but here's the condensed version:
There is now strong evidence to suggest that humans have the same type of "mirror neurons" found in monkeys. It's what these neurons do that's amazing--they activate in the same way when you're watching someone else do something as they do when you're doing it yourself! This mirroring process/capability is thought to be behind our ability to empathize, but you can imagine the role these neurons have played in keeping us alive as a species. We learn from watching others. We learn from imitating (mirroring) others. The potential problem, though, is that these neurons go happily about their business of imitating others without our conscious intention.
Think about that...
Although the neuroscientific findings are new, your sports coach and your parents didn't need to know the cause to recognize the effects:
"Choose your role models carefully."
"Watching Michael Jordan will help you get better."
"You're hanging out with the wrong crowd; they're a bad influence."
"Don't watch people doing it wrong... watch the experts!"
We've all experienced it. How often have you found yourself sliding into the accent of those around you? Spend a month in England and even a California valley girl sounds different. Spend a week in Texas and even a native New Yorker starts slowing down his speech. How often have you found yourself laughing, dressing, skiing like your closest friend? Has someone ever observed that you and a close friend or significant other had similar mannerisms? When I was in junior high school, it was tough for people to tell my best friends and I apart on the phone--we all sounded so much alike that we could fool even our parents.
But the effect of our innate ability and need to imitate goes way past teenage phone tricks. Spend time with a nervous, anxious person and physiological monitoring would most likely show you mimicking the anxiety and nervousness, in ways that affect your brain and body in a concrete, measurable way. Find yourself in a room full of pissed off people and feel the smile slide right off your face. Listen to people complaining endlessly about work, and you'll find yourself starting to do the same. How many of us have been horrified to suddenly realize that we've spent the last half-hour caught up in a gossip session--despite our strong aversion to gossip? The behavior of others we're around is nearly irresistible.
When we're consciously aware and diligent, we can fight this. But the stress of maintaining that conscious struggle against an unconscious, ancient process is a non-stop stressful drain on our mental, emotional, and physical bandwidth. And no, I'm not suggesting that we can't or should'nt spend time with people who are angry, negative, critical, depressed, gossiping, whatever. Some (including my sister and father) chose professions (nurse practitioner and cop, respectively) that demand it. And some (like my daughter) volunteer to help those who are suffering (in her case, the homeless). Some people don't want to avoid their more hostile family members. But in those situations--where we choose to be with people who we do not want to mirror--we have to be extremely careful! Nurses, cops, mental health workers, EMTs, social workers, red cross volunteers, fire fighters, psychiatrists, oncologists, etc. are often at a higher risk (in some cases, WAY higher) for burnout, alcholism, divorce, stress, or depression unless they take specific steps to avoid getting too sucked in to be effective.
So, when Robert says he wants to spend time hanging around "happy people" and keeping his distance from "deeply unhappy" people, he's keeping his brain from making--over the long term--negative structural and chemical changes. Regarding the effect of mirror neurons and emotional contagion on personal performance, neurologist Richard Restak offers this advice:
"If you want to accomplish something that demands determination and endurance, try to surround yourself with people possessing these qualities. And try to limit the time you spend with people given to pessimism and expressions of futility. Unfortunately, negative emotions exert a more powerful effect in social situations than positive ones, thanks to the phenomena of emotional contagion."
This sounds harsh, and it is, but it's his recommendation based on the facts as the neuroscientists interpret them today. This is not new age self-help--it's simply the way brains work.
Emotional Contagion
Steven Stosny, an expert on road rage, is quoted in Restak's book:
"Anger and resentment are thet most contagious of emotions," according to Stonsy. "If you are near a resentful or angry person, you are more prone to become resentful or angry yourself. If one driver engages in angry gestures and takes on the facial expressions of hostility, surrounding drivers will unconsciously imitate the behavior--resulting in an escalation of anger and resentment in all of the drivers. Added to this, the drivers are now more easily startled as a result of the outpouring of adrenaline accompanying their anger. The result is a temper tantrum that can easily escalate into road rage."
If you were around one or more people with a potentially harmful contagious disease, you would probably take steps to protect yourself in some way. And if you were the contagious one, you'd likely take steps to protect others until you were sure the chance of infecting someone else was gone.
But while we all have a lot of respect for physical biological contagions, we do NOT have much respect for physical emotional contagions. (I said "physical", because science has known for quite some time that "emotions" are not simply a fuzzy-feeling concept, but represent physical changes in the brain.)
From a paper on Memetics and Social Contagion,
"...social scientific research has largely confirmed the thesis that affect, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour can indeed spread through populations as if they were somehow infectious. Simple exposure sometimes appears to be a sufficient condition for social transmission to occur. This is the social contagion thesis; that sociocultural phenomena can spread through, and leap between, populations more like outbreaks of measels or chicken pox than through a process of rational choice."
Emotional contagion is considered one of the primary drivers of group/mob behavior, and the recent work on "mirror neurons" helps explain the underlying cause. But it's not just about groups. From a Cambridge University Press book:
"When we are talking to someone who is depressed it may make us feel depressed, whereas if we talk to someone who is feeling self-confident and buoyant we are likely to feel good about ourselves. This phenomenon, known as emotional contagion, is identified here, and compelling evidence for its affect is offered from a variety of disciplines - social and developmental psychology, history, cross-cultural psychology, experimental psychology, and psychopathology."
[For a business management perspective, see the Yale School of Management paper titled The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion In Groups]
Can any of us honestly say we haven't experienced emotional contagion? Even if we ourselves haven't felt our energy drain from being around a perpetually negative person, we've watched it happen to someone we care about. We've noticed a change in ourselves or our loved ones based on who we/they spend time with. We've all known at least one person who really did seem able to "light up the room with their smile," or another who could "kill the mood" without saying a word. We've all found ourselves drawn to some people and not others, based on how we felt around them, in ways we weren't able to articulate.
So, Robert's choice makes sense if he is concerned about the damaging effects of emotional contagion. But... that still leaves one big issue: is "catching" only positive emotions a Good Thing? Does this mean surrounding ourselves with "fake" goodness and avoiding the truth? Does surrounding ourselves with "happy people" mean we shut down critical thinking skills?
Happy People
The notion of "Happy People" was tossed around in the Robert-Lost-His-Mind posts as something ridiculous at best, dangerous at worst. One blogger equated "happy people" with "vacuous". The idea seems to be that "happy people" implies those who are oblivious to the realities of life, in a fantasy of their own creation, and without the ability to think critically. The science, however, suggests just the opposite.
Neuroscience has made a long, intense study of the brain's fear system--one of the oldest, most primitive parts of our brain. Anger and negativity usually stem from the anxiety and/or fear response in the brain, and one thing we know for sure--when the brain thinks its about to be eaten or smashed by a giant boulder, there's no time to stop and think! In many ways, fear/anger and the ability to think rationally and logically are almost mutually exclusive. Those who stopped to weigh the pros and cons of a flight-or-fight decision were eaten, and didn't pass on their afraid-yet-thoughtful genes. Many neuroscientists (and half the US population) believes that it is exactly this fear != rational thought that best explains the outcome of the last US presidential election... but I digress.
Happines is associated most heavily with the left (i.e. logical) side of the brain, while anger is associated with the right (emotional, non-logical) side of the brain. From a Society for Neuroscience article on Bliss and the Brain:
"Furthermore, studies suggest that certain people's ability to see life through rose-colored glasses links to a heightened left-sided brain function. A scrutiny of brain activity indicates that individuals with natural positive dispositions have trumped up activity in the left prefrontal cortex compared with their more negative counterparts. "
In other words, happy people are better able to think logically.
And apparently happier = healthier:
"Evidence suggests that the left-siders may better handle stressful events on a biological level. For example, studies show that they have a higher function of cells that help defend the body, known as natural killer cells, compared with individuals who have greater right side activity. Left-sided students who face a stressful exam have a smaller drop in their killer cells than right-siders. Other research indicates that generally left-siders may have lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol."
And while we're dispelling the Happy=Vacuous myth, let's look at a couple more misperceptions:
"Happy people aren't critical."
"Happy people don't get angry."
"Happy people are obedient."
"Happy people can't be a disruptive force for change."
Hmmm... one of the world's leading experts in the art of happiness is the Dalai Lama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989. Just about everyone who hears him speak is struck by how, well, happy he is. How he can describe--with laughter--some of the most traumatizing events of his past. Talk about perspective...
But he is quite outspoken with his criticism of China. The thing is, he doesn't believe that criticism requires anger, or that being happy means you can't be a disruptive influence for good. On happiness, he has this to say:
"The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope."
And among the "happy people", there's Mahatma Gandhi, a force for change that included non-violent but oh-most-definitely-disobedient behavior. A few of my favorite Gandhi quotes:
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
But then there's the argument that says "anger" is morally (and intellectually) superior to "happy". The American Psychological Association has this to say on anger:
"People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake."
Of course it's still a myth that "happy people" don't get angry. Of course they do. Anger is often an appropriate response. But there's a Grand Canyon between a happy-person-who-gets-angry and an unhappy-angry-person. So yes, we get angry. Happiness is not our only emotion, it is simply the outlook we have chosen to cultivate because it is usually the most effective, thoughtful, healthy, and productive.
And there's this one we hear most often, especially in reference to comment moderation--"if you can't say whatever the hell you want to express your anger, you can't be authentic and honest." While that may be true, here's what the psychologists say:
"Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge."
And finally, another Ghandi quote:
"Be the change that you want to see in the world."
If the scientists are right, I might also add,
Be around the change you want to see in the world.
Remember the flight attendant's advice... you must put on your own oxygen mask first.
Posted by Kathy Sierra on April 17, 2006 | Permalink
TrackBack
02 January 2006
Pictures from the coast
I took some time off a few weeks ago and spent some time at the coast. It was foreign and lonely to be there alone. Something about the sound of the waves on the shore sounds different when you are alone. It was a good rest for my brain, though, and I netted some good photos. Here are a few.
18 May 2005
Paris is as Paris does
Why I date Gary (among other reasons)
Me (in email to him)
While editing this Paris Hilton picture for LF I ended up with two choices.. #1 and #2. I'm sending you both of them. You can bet which one made it on LF and which one didnt.
Him
The second one looks like the real you. The first one needs a real dog.
Me
They are both the real me silly. It's my face photoshopped into the picture
Him
No, I mean the one with the drink looked like the real you body and all.
Now I'm not one to argue. If this is what he sees... I think I'll keep him! :)
Me (in email to him)
While editing this Paris Hilton picture for LF I ended up with two choices.. #1 and #2. I'm sending you both of them. You can bet which one made it on LF and which one didnt.
Him
The second one looks like the real you. The first one needs a real dog.
Me
They are both the real me silly. It's my face photoshopped into the picture
Him
No, I mean the one with the drink looked like the real you body and all.
Now I'm not one to argue. If this is what he sees... I think I'll keep him! :)
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